Most Popular

This last Monday we celebrated our 13^th wedding anniversary.  I’ve been so stressed out about all of the stuff going on around us for the past several months that my sweet husband said, “Let’s go to Vegas!”  And so, off we went!

My few trips to Sin City in the past have left me with this one piece of wisdom:  When sitting at a blackjack table it is DEFINITELY best to have all of your belongings in a clutch as opposed to an over the shoulder purse (my usual).  It’s smaller and easier to maneuver, not to mention you look SO much more “lady-like” when you’re placing a bet or motioning to the dealer to “hit me” with a small pretty purse pressed between your arm and the table and not some gigantic (albeit gorgeous I’m sure) designer bag pressed into your armpit with its straps falling down your arm.

With this in mind I knew that I needed to find something pretty and small to hold my necessities.  However, I didn’t remember my little tidbit of wisdom until just before we left and I had to go with the best thing I could find with the lowest price.  I wanted to look cute for my mini-vacay but I know that once I’ve returned from my getaway I probably won’t use it again for a very long time. Sad, but true statement.  Mommies in my position don’t get to run off to have grown-up time in places that don’t require me taking 43 different things for my 5 little people very often.  Hardly. Well, ever really. 

With a low budget set in my mind and very limited time to grab something I came up with this one.  It was the right size, mostly black, and most importantly it was the right price. $15. But the down side?  It had “Most Popular” printed on it in shiny gold font.  How much more juvenile could I get?  It might as well say “Juicy” on it. Ugh.  Whatever.  I can make due.  We’re going to Vegas baby! 

The whole time I was there I carried my little black clutch with the words consciously turned inward, so as to make it appear plain of course, with confidence and style!  But whenever I looked down and saw the gilded letters a tiny serge of panic would come over me and I’d quickly flip it around.  

Somewhere along the way I told my husband about my shame in the self-proclaimed title of “Most Popular” on my purse and we laughed about it.  He didn’t see the big deal with it but he thought it was funny that I was so self-conscious about it.  “Hello?!  I’m a grown woman!  Grown women do not have purses with silly titles printed on them!” 

It was the first time in our entire marriage that we had ever gone away somewhere without ANY CHILDREN in tow.  Ever. 

We stayed at the Venetian and didn’t go to sleep until 6am the next morning.  We had so much fun!  We saw a show, played at a few casinos, and ate some great food!  But by the time we were ready to leave my poor husband was running on fumes.  He’d lost our valet ticket and the very thorough and very cautious valet booth would not release our car to us until we proved it was ours.  My hubby was just too out of it to deal with any of this so it all fell to me. 

Security, “Is there anything in the car that could identify you as the owners?” 

Me, “Uh, let me see… we have 5 kids so its messy and has tons of kids stuff in the back.  Just look at it.  Why would anyone want to ‘pretend’ it was theirs?” 

He smiled and said, “No, I meant the insurance card or something like that. We checked the glove compartment and there’s nothing in there.” 

I turn to RD, “Honey, where’s the insurance card?”  RD’s eyes are squinting, he looks up, and his eyeballs are darting right to left.  Bloody hell.  This guy is half asleep!  He’s taking deep breaths and trying to recall where he put the cards. 

RD, “I think I put them in the sunglass holder…?” 

Security calls it in on his radio and they find it.  Yay!  They’re bringing up our car!!!  I give my sober but intoxicated-looking husband a quick “Get your crap together” talk and we jump into our car and pull off!  I got so wound up at the car situation, but I don’t want our trip to take a down turn so I desperately try to get back into the “honeymoon” frame of mind that we had had all weekend.  And then I reach for my clutch…

“OMG!  Where’s my clutch?!  It’s not here!!!  I think I left it at the valet!!!!”

Quickly, I call the Venetian back on RD’s phone and put it on speaker. They transfer me outside.

Male voice, “Venetian Valet how may I help you?”

“Hello!  I’m panicking right now!  I was just there 2 minutes ago and I left my little black purse there!”

“Does it have anything valuable in it?”

“Yes!!!  It has my license, my cards, cash, and my phone in it!”  My heart is racing!

Pause and then a calm male voice, “Does it say ‘Most Popular’?”

%@$#&!!!!!  “Yes, it does.”

“We have it at the podium, ma’am.”  Click.

RD and I look at eachother and DIE!!!!  And all I can think of was, “Screw you Venetian Valet.” LOL!!!!!